|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Discussion Topic: Farewell to a Competitive Career
Anthony Petrella added to this discussion on March 11, 2011
|
I feel as if I was just on this website posting a topic about losing in the State Finals. I was asking for help from everyone. That was 5 years ago when I lost in the 2006 DIII 152lbs State Finals. Now, 5 years later I was returning from a year as a NCAA DII 174lbs 4th Place All-American for Gannon University. I was ranked 2nd in DII for the whole year and had a rough regional tournament where I didn't qualify. It just wasn't my day. I wrestled tough and was focused the whole time and that is why I can live with myself, but it is so difficult to work so hard and put in so much time for a goal and be upset. I'm hurting so bad. I'm not letting it bring me down though. I went to a dark place after I lost my State Finals match 5 years ago. I didn't want to act the same way or let it affect me in the same way because if I resorted to childish things than I really haven't grown at all in the past 5 years. My family is supportive but I feel as if I have let my teammates down, my friends down, my family down, my coaches down,... but most importantly myself down. Now that my career is over, I am left with so many unanswered questions and I am scared at the fact that my career is finally over. Will I ever be fulfilled by coaching wrestlers to All American finishes? What am I suppossed to be thinking? If there is any insight someone can give I would really appreciate it. While I would love to hear insight, I am not looking for pity. I am a proud person but at the same time, Christ teaches humility and I am humble enough to admit when I need help so if anyone can.... please help me with this crisis. Thank you
|
|
|
|
|
Discussion Topic: Farewell to a Competitive Career
Mike Hojnacki added to this discussion on March 11, 2011
|
Check your messages Anthony.
|
|
|
|
|
Discussion Topic: Farewell to a Competitive Career
Tony Bradberry added to this discussion on March 11, 2011
|
It sucks. I had a similar issue last year, as I made it to nationals as a junior and was dealing with injuries and missed it as a senior. It'll be tough for a couple weeks, especially this week. As the school year ends it will get a little more bearable. Next year when the season starts the memories will come up again and you will fill badly, but it won't be as bad. Life goes on after wrestling as hard as it is to believe, trust me I know.
Basically when looking at your career and wrestling as a whole you need to realize that wrestling does not define who you are as a person. I know we sometimes view our self-worth as W's and L's on the mat. Wrestling is only a tool that has helped shape the person you have become. Wins and losses aren't things to look back on in disappointment, but as learning points in your life.
When I was in High School all I ever wanted was to be a state champion. That didn't happen, I came close, but it never happened. When I was in college the most important thing in the world was to be an All-American I was almost there, but once again didn't accomplish that goal. Now today I wake up and want more than anything to be a good son, coach, employee, and person. Will I accomplish all these things? Hopefully, but at some points I am sure I will have some let downs. Life is full of hopes, dreams, and goals but in the end it is the lessons we learn on the way to trying to achieve those goals that matter.
This is what I have found almost one year after my competitive career has ended.
|
|
|
|
|
Discussion Topic: Farewell to a Competitive Career
Mark Palumbo added to this discussion on March 11, 2011
|
IMO
Focus on the positives! Minimize the negatives and take all the tools you’ve learned during your wrestling career and transition them to everyday life. I may not have been an elite wrestler in my day, but I was (still am in my mind) a wrestler with the mentality of one. No one wins them all all the time. Even Cael lost after college.
Some day looking back will not be as painful, you’ve obviously won more than you lost, but more importantly the lessons you’ve learned will stick with you forever.
When I would go over tape with the kids I coached, one of the major hurdles at first would be to make sure they are using the tape of their matches as a tool to learn, not reliving the emotion of the win or the loss. This is easier said than done with 14 to 18 year old adolescents.
It seems like you were more successful than most on the mat, but remember as we watch the NCAA D1 finals or any tournament; the kid that does not get his hand raised may have worked harder than the one who does and there are kids that work very hard and don’t even make it to the big show. This is counter intuitive to how we usually think, “work harder than your opponent and you should win”. This is not always the case, but such as life, the harder workers don’t always get the highest paying jobs or become the happiest people, but the hard work can only help in the long run.
Life does not always seem fair, but God has a plan and I think you will be a stronger person for experiencing all you have so far in life.
Good luck, be smart, stay safe, use your powers for good, and remember there are a ton of people that are envious of you and proud of you. In my experience, wrestlers tend to become successful people.
|
|
|
|
|
Discussion Topic: Farewell to a Competitive Career
Steve Lester added to this discussion on March 11, 2011
|
Tony,
When I see your name appended to a post, I am likely to read it, because I know it will be thoughtful and intelligent. Your opinions are valued and respected. Such attributes go beyond wrestling.
|
|
|
|
|
Discussion Topic: Farewell to a Competitive Career
Rex Holman added to this discussion on March 11, 2011
|
Hang in there buddy.
It hurts so much because you care.
When you have given everything that you could and come up with a loss, there is a grieving process, complicated by what you see as the finality of your career which only intensifies the emotion.
Kubler-Ross identified the process of losing a significant other which is only one degree removed from what you are talking about (the loss of your competitive career) which is essential to your person.
Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance are the steps which occur and don't necessarily flow a to b to c.
Acceptance takes maturity and a willingness to move on from your existing circumstance. You will have a chance to look back and make inferences based on your experience. It is up to you on how you want to interpret it.
Don't be overwhelmed. (easier said than done). Healthy emotion comes and goes and adds to your experience. Unhealthy emotion commands you and dominates you. It is easy to see how we can get to that point of unhealthy emotion after we have spent a lifetime giving everything we had in pursuit a goal. It is a product of obsession.
Congratulations on an outstanding career (the whole body of work) and I hope you will stay and in it and influence the next generation of wrestlers
|
|
|
|
|
Discussion Topic: Farewell to a Competitive Career
Jeremy Park added to this discussion on March 11, 2011
|
|
Quote from Anthony Petrella's post:
|
|
"I feel as if I was just on this website posting a topic about losing in the State Finals. I was asking for help from everyone. That was 5 years ago when I lost in the 2006 DIII 152lbs State Finals. Now, 5 years later I was returning from a year as a NCAA DII 174lbs 4th Place All-American for Gannon University. I was ranked 2nd in DII for the whole year and had a rough regional tournament where I didn't qualify. It just wasn't my day. I wrestled tough and was focused the whole time and that is why I can live with myself, but it is so difficult to work so hard and put in so much time for a goal and be upset. I'm hurting so bad. I'm not letting it bring me down though. I went to a dark place after I lost my State Finals match 5 years ago. I didn't want to act the same way or let it affect me in the same way because if I resorted to childish things than I really haven't grown at all in the past 5 years. My family is supportive but I feel as if I have let my teammates down, my friends down, my family down, my coaches down,... but most importantly myself down. Now that my career is over, I am left with so many unanswered questions and I am scared at the fact that my career is finally over. Will I ever be fulfilled by coaching wrestlers to All American finishes? What am I suppossed to be thinking? If there is any insight someone can give I would really appreciate it. While I would love to hear insight, I am not looking for pity. I am a proud person but at the same time, Christ teaches humility and I am humble enough to admit when I need help so if anyone can.... please help me with this crisis. Thank you"
|
while i have never wrestled at that level or was even all that great i can feel your pain. our districts only took the top 3 per weight class, my main goal in high school was to just qualify for the state tournament. i was only able to manage 4th place. sadly (for me) my final competitve match was a loss in double overtime for 3rd and 4th place. that being said, i coached for 15 years at our little league wrestling. trying to pass on our sport. while i know i fell short of my own goals, i hope that some of my experience was passed on to those young wrestlers. keep your head up. the sun will come up tomorrow, and with each day your struggles will become easier.
|
|
|
|
|
Discussion Topic: Farewell to a Competitive Career
Scott Shaw added to this discussion on March 11, 2011
|
Tony, we have spoken and you know how I feel. This weekend will be tough, but you have proven your true character when you were in the room helping your teammates prepare for Nationals.
I don't know if any father can give a more meaningful complement than this. I truly hope that my sons grow to be men with your character, work ethic, and integrity.
I love you!
I'll be in touch.
Coach Shaw
|
|
|
|
|
Discussion Topic: Farewell to a Competitive Career
Michael Rodriguez added to this discussion on March 11, 2011
|
Anthony...I was a runner-up in high school as well, and did not come close to meeting my college goals for a host of reasons, most notably my own lack of maturity. I went through the steps that Rex talked about, but the process took quite a while (again, probably due to my lack of maturity). I bet I was 26 before I settled into the Acceptance Stage, and with acceptance came (for me) an embracement of my career.
People say it's not about wins and losses, but at some point you are what your record says you are. And for you that's a State runner-up and a DII All American. Not too shabby. For me it was a State runner-up and a college flame-out. I don't "live in the past", but that loss in the finals and the way my college career went are certainly present in my life to this day.
I want to be better than that guy was. I want to work harder than that guy did. I want to be more dedicated to the things that matter than he was and be more wise about choosing what does and doesn't matter. In short, that loss and my complete lack of success in college helps drive me to be the absolute best father, husband, teacher and coach I can be.
I desprerately don't want to be a "runner-up" or a "flameout" in those things. I don't want to look back a think about things I should've or could've done better with those things. Failure (for lack of a better word) in one area can be a great motivator for success in another.
|
Last edited by Michael Rodriguez on March 11, 2011; edited 2 times in total
|
|
|
|
Discussion Topic: Farewell to a Competitive Career
Dom Mancini added to this discussion on March 11, 2011
|
If anything else remember this: whether you accomplish your goals or not it is over! many of the emotions are just magnified because you did not achieve the level of accomplishment that you set out for yourself. The depressed state is mainly due to the fact that you have to take a new direction in life and it is scary - you will realize that once you have a new path the pain you are feeling will subside and you will be able to draw upon the lessons learned in the sport to become successful at whatever you choose. Nobody really ends the sport happy, you could have won a state championship and still been kicking yourself about not being an all american you could have been an all american and be kicking yourself for not pursuing the olympics it just does not end - so I can leave you with this - the true winners in wrestling do not experience the championship until later in life when they apply what they have learned to other areas of life and are successful.
|
|
|
|
|
Discussion Topic: Farewell to a Competitive Career
Luke Moore added to this discussion on March 11, 2011
|
It is a very hard thing to have to deal with. The hard work, years of training, everything that goes into the sport we love. The hard thing to ever think of is that very few people actually end their careers on the highest note, being a national or state champion.
I still have nightmares about Nick Nemeth during the semifanls of the MAC tournament and that tilt he hit on me. I should have gone neutral (not that it would have made a difference, he was pretty good)! More nightmares come when thinking about Adam Santee and the locking hands call that cost me a shot at the state finals. It hurts so bad, but I take solace in the fact that I worked my butt off day in and day out and left it all on the mat. I know what you are going through Tony, but believe me the best is still ahead.
Of all the wins, tournament titles, team titles, etc., there is nothing that compares to the joy you get from seeing an athlete that you coach reach his goals. Even if that goal is to be a district qualifier or league placer, when they win that match and you see the look on their face, it makes all the possible disappointing moments disappear,
This is the reason wrestlers are such a special breed. We can endure pain, have the discipline to watch our weight and train through holidays, compete on a mat by ourselves, and even if we don't reach our goals we all come out better men in the end.
Take your career and be proud of it. There are not many who can make it through a whole college wrestling career (let alone be ranked as high as second in the country). Be proud that you endured through everything that this sport threw at you and know that your best moments in the sport (and in life) are ahead of you. Congrats on a great career!
|
|
|
|
|
Discussion Topic: Farewell to a Competitive Career
Roe Fox added to this discussion on March 11, 2011
|
All things in perspective. More wrestlers are like me -- not having the talent to worry about only coming in second or fourth or missing qualifying for a second year -- than you.
Relish the ride and opportunity. There is life outside of wrestling. Go get it.
|
|
|
|
|
Discussion Topic: Farewell to a Competitive Career
Anthony Petrella added to this discussion on March 11, 2011
|
Thanks for all of the help. I knew it was going to be difficult trying to win a national title, but I never would have thought that I wouldn't qualify. I was not overconfident by any means but I was confident in my abilities. I guess the biggest heartache is that I didn't even come close this year. It seemed like everything that could go wrong did. I love the sport and I love helping others in the sport as a method to share the Good News.
I'm going to take time off but I definitely can't be finished wrestling. I have so much more to prove to myself. I am going to train greco, freestyle, or I will try my hand at mixed martial arts. I just love competing and coaching. I know it will be amazing to coach someone to an all-american finish but it just won't be the same as winning a title myself. I am proud because I worked my butt off and trained to be a national champ but it just wasn't my day. I felt terrible about my matches but I felt worse about my conversation with my father. I'm always mad for about 10 minutes after a loss and especially after the semis loss. The official gave me a takedown with time running out and then took it away. I lost 3-2. I felt he made the wrong call but I shouldn't have put the match in his hands. there were more opportunities for me to get takedowns earlier in the match. Anyway... my dad was trying to prepare me for my next match and I said something to the effect of.... What would you know about it? What would you know about losing like this? Losing Here! To inform you, my father was a National Champion and 3rd place finisher for Baldwin Wallace in 1978 and 79. It tears me up that I said those things. I know that he understands but I just felt like apologizing wasn't enough. I'm obviously a little upset right now and pouring my soul out but I'm not embarrassed and I apologize if I'm making anyone feel uncomfortable but I really enjoy the support from the people at ohiowrestling.net. I need the support. I'm not going to break down by any means... its just nice to know that people support you.
|
|
|
|
|
Discussion Topic: Farewell to a Competitive Career
Pat Costilow added to this discussion on March 12, 2011
|
It takes time, but embracing your shortcomings is a big step to maturity. It is the know-thy-self philosiphy. I am very in touch with the things I have done in my life that aren't up to snuff with what I would have liked, or areas where I have unequivocably fallen short. If you do that and can be okay with them, it gives you power over your flaws. It gives you power to move forward into anything without a fear. I guess you could call that my Zen and the art of failure.
If you embrace it, it makes you stronger. If you learn from it, it makes you stronger. Sometime in the near future, you will do something you are proud of, even if it is a little thing, and you will see in it a lesson that you learned wrestling.
I have come to the second real stage in my life- I have a wife and two kids. My failures of my teenage years/early twenties are behind me. But some of them still sting, and they probably always will. It was an important step for me to accept that it would always hurt, and that was okay and normal. That will allow you to move on.
Mike Rodriguez- great post.
|
|
|
|
|
Discussion Topic: Farewell to a Competitive Career
Bill Watson added to this discussion on March 12, 2011
|
For me wrestling is a little different, but the values it taught me were along the lines of what Mike R speaks of. In grade school and middle school I was a great wrestler, rarely ever losing and when I did it typically was the only occasion for the year. Then my incoming freshman year of high school I got shot in the eye with a paintball gun. I lost vision in my right eye and depth perception. I was told by doctors Id never wrestle again, I did wrestled again, just never wrestled well. I remember the most difficult day for me was the day I lost my bout to go to state my senior year, to a kid I beat at sectionals. It made me ask a question I had never asked before, what if. I saw kids I had wrestled with for years placing at states and it didn't seem fair, but that's life. What my shortcomings in wrestling did do was motivate me to do well in college. I couldn't fail at everything. My point being that in time what you didn't do wont matter only what you did. I never became the wrestler I thought I could br, yet overcoming adversity made me a better person. To me, that's why we all do it, to prepare us for life and you are now more prepared then you even remotely think you can be. Dan Gable said something along the lines of after wrestling all else in life is easy, and I think you'll find this to be true.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
